Christian Thomas delves into the uncomfortable aspects of humanity, perception, and spiritual angst. Primarily in existential terms, Thomas addresses the immediate human condition, free of minced words. But his pieces are also touching... |
excerpts taken from his published books:
Looking Into Rock N Roll (1980) and Carnival of the Faceless Crowd (1990)
and his earlier work:
From One Head To Another (1972)
© 1990/1980 Christian Thomas
On a day-to-day basis nearly all of us spend most of our time coping with the mundane vicissitudes of reality---those people, events, and urgent circumstances that cannot be avoided.
Art, literature, movies, religion, and other acts of imagination provide occasional relief from life's insistent demands; but these forms of escape are temporary. The majority of us, whether by unwitting device or the accident of birth, continually find our feet planted in the terra firma of existence.
It is the negative tone of this cosmic predicament---this predominance of pragmatic necessity that demands attention to the point of diminished spiritual awareness---from which the contemporary philosophy of Existentialism emerged...On the purely existential level from which he [Man] can find no escape, the story of man is merely an epic farce of an aimless creature meandering off into the invisibility of some imagined noble destiny...
- Christian Thomas, 1990 in Windermere, Florida
_______________
from Carnival of the Faceless Crowd (1990)
The
Darling Lark
Pollyannas
may paint the world in light
And
try to reason away the dark of night:
But
none can deny or hope to prevent
The
doleful songs sounding within each tent
To
and from which we languidly wander,
Back
and forth, from here to yonder,
With
ever a curious but cautious eye.
Suddenly
a barker shouts out a cry
That
calls our attention to a weathered sign
Of
a cosmic bird of universal design.
We
pay the fee, and with an occasional remark,
Enter
the tent and find the Darling Lark.
Daybreak
greets the Darling Lark;
Nightfall
ends her day.
And
all the things that make her smile
Take
that smile away.
She sings to the dawn each
morning;
She sings to the moon every night.
Though her world abounds
with wonder,
Still it is hidden from
her sight
By mistaking misfortune
and sorrow,
By living in yesterday and
tomorrow.
She knows the truth in
words unspoken,
Knows every love a heart
gets broken.
She spends her hours
anticipating an end
To absence and all on
which it may depend.
She hopes her dreams are
not abating,
Hopes another Darling Lark
is waiting;
But she ponders the image
till there's nothing left
Save the name.
Just the same.
Daybreak
greets the Darling Lark;
Nightfall
ends her day.
And
all the things that make her smile
Take that smile away.
_______________
"Make way! Make way!
Make way for a parade of charade.
Make way for the optical
abuse of the Dovetail Ruse.
Prepare to be warped into
aberration.
Just open a newspaper and
you turn it loose --
The Dovetail Ruse.
It's a train without a
caboose,
And it goes on and on and
on and on.
It'll put the chains,
chains, chains,
Chains of illusion on you
--
The Dovetail Ruse.
It's off the wall,
ooo-oo, off the wall.
There's method to
madness and reason for rhyme,
But no earthly excuse for
the Dovetail Ruse.
Just turn on the tube and
give it some juice --
The Dovetail Ruse.
It's a train without a
caboose.
Don't try to stop it
'cause it's no use;
Ain't nothin' gonna
stop the Dovetail Ruse,
And it goes on and on and
on and on.
It'll put the chain,
chains, chain,
Chains of illusion on you
--
The Dovetail Ruse.
It's off the wall,
ooo-oo, off the wall.
Reality's there under
the mask you wear.
Reality's there behind
the scenes in the magazines.
Dissimulation.
Adoration of the mirror
--
The Dovetail Ruse.
No early excuse for the
optical abuse
Of the Dovetail Ruse,
ooo-oo, it's off the wall."
An
uncomfortable silence envelops the crowd,
But
quickly disrupts into shouts of denial,
For
few will admit they were ever beguiled
By
the printed word or a slick televised smile.
So
adamantly do we cling to our misconceptions
And
the decisions we let our apathy decide,
That
we angrily denounce the Ruse's deceptions,
Till at length we push and shove our way outside.
_______________
from "The Strangest Place On Earth" in The Carnival of the Faceless Crowd
Our departure from this show is swift; its images smother us.
Soon we find ourselves nearing the tent of the Gypsy, mother of
Melpomone and Nightclimber. Lost in thought, we trudge along,
A study in suppressed dread, a crowd of victims, a misfit throng.
All of a sudden there is commotion, whispers, questioning glances.
Swiftly through the restive crowd the muscle-bound geek advances;
And people slowly recede, like skin parting behind a razor blade.
He stops in front of the Gypsy's tent, strong, bold, unafraid,
And in an angry voice calls to her and bids that she come outside.
Bony, long-nailed fingers appear and pull the curtains open wide.
Then the Gypsy steps into the light: a wrinkled old woman, small,
Bent, witch-like, dressed in black beneath a long, draping shawl.
One could see the malice in her eyes, sense the devil in her smile.
A grim interminable silence falls over the crowd, and all the while
The geek stands foursquare with the Gypsy, transfixed in her gaze.
A horrid tension fills the air that tells of dark and evil days.
From somewhere far behind us comes that low whine of the calliope
Chipping
and chiseling at the concrete silence of total inactivity.
Then
it stops. And as the strain of the moment rises and peaks,
The
geek takes a step forward, and in a beseeching voice, speaks:
"Tell
me, Gypsy, tell me why you put your curse on me.
For
surely it's your curse that continually defeats me.
Continually
visits grief, disaster, and misery upon me.
The
mere fact that I lack detailed features depletes me,
Cheats
me of distinction, dignity, and self-worth.
This
startling absence of identity was not happenstance,
Not
something chanced upon me by the accident of birth.
It
was you, you who deemed my life an unpardonable offense
To
be summarily punished and publicly mocked and jeered.
You
who took away my face and left me inadequate, empty,
Powerless
against an unnatural world, cleverly engineered
For
suffering and self-destruction. Every joy and luxury --
As
small and infrequent as they are -- is choked lifeless
By
a smothering darkness and leaves a void that is my soul.
My
undefined existence thrusts me downward into a recess
So
deep and black that it prevents even the most miniscule
Ray
of truth from entering my life, and doubt is the measure
By
which all things are proven. I am a spectacle of none!
I
am high mockery personified! And my greatest displeasure
Is
the crowd, for the larger the crowd that more I am alone.
At
times I disguise myself with masks and gay dissimulation;
But
my efforts defeat my purposes, and soon I am found out.
And
what of human kindness, the last refuge of desperation?
It
is to be shunned, pitied, and maliciously talked about.
When
I look at the world all I see are giant webs of fear,
Tapestries
of misery and pain and lies that shift and swell.
Insidiously
wicked deeds eclipse whatever good may appear
And
acid-etch in my mind vividly grotesque pictures of hell.
For
me there is no hope for better days, brighter tomorrows.
No
confident moment or mirrored reflection life can grant me.
Only
the hosts of the past, with whom I share old sorrows,
Haunt
my future as they haunt me now until you disenchant me."
Somewhere
in the woods outside the Carnival and lone wolf howls.
With
piercing eyes the Gypsy steps toward the geek and scowls,
Saying,
"Poor, tortured geek. You're so mistaken, so deluded.
You
talk as if your fate was designed, you destiny concluded.
You
choose to blame me for your troubles, and with conviction
But
I am not the cause of your miserable unjustified affliction.
Because
of my evil appearance you think I am the one to blame
For
your facelessness, your 'curse', as you say. All the same,
I'm
not the one who curse you -- though it's easy in your disdain
To
think that I did. I am but a vessel molded by what I contain;
And
since I am filled with everyone's hatred, scorn, and rabid
Fearfulness,
my outward appearance is like wise ugly and horrid --
Thus
easy to blame and easy to hate. Evil lives as evil dwells,
To
the point that you believe Ii am capable of curse and spells!
Thought
I wish I could, I can't. But, oh, how you misconstrue!
How
easily you twist each situation, distort your point of view!
You
bend everything till it suits you and justifies your misery.
And
finding no single cause for your grief, you blame it on me.
Sad,
pitiful geek. Can't you see that you are your own tormentor,
That
your steadfast pessimism is what keeps you boiling in horror
And
is what truly decides your future and explains your past.
For
all you have to do is believe it is so, and so it is. Alas,
It's
not the world that has failed you. You have failed yourself.
And
yet there's one thing that has you fooled above all else:
Where
you look and what you find -- that things you choose to see --
Does
not truly signify, but describes a slyly disguised reality.
Your
wounded vision shuts out everything beautiful and bright
And
cheats you of available wonder. You live in perpetual night.
Wondering why there's no comfort or rely, when uncompromisingly
Your
narrow perceptions lengthen each day into protracted agony.
You
build yourself a prison by fitting your windows with bars,
And
this is turn unwittingly steals the sparkle form the stars.
Worse
still, you think your faceless anonymity is meaningless,
When
it's your show here at the Carnival that gives you purpose,
That
thrusts inescapable reason upon you. Grievously existing
In
lament is like crying in a dark room with no one listening.
You
might as well try to unwind a tornado or stop a hurricane
For
all the good it will do. You must learn to accept the pain
And
spiritual loss of this cosmic display of misrepresentation.
Cling
to what might be, for imagination is your only salvation.
Refuse
to be overcome by bitterness and cool blind indifference --
Callous
apathy is a festering sore in our collective essence.
Stand
valiant against the tide of mindless mongols who commit
Avoidable
misery. Strive to prevent misery; don't perpetuate it.
Unattempted
happiness hides the world's marvels from your eyes,
Weaves
illusions, and conceals your true identity in a disguise.
Above
all, don't withhold the necessary truth. Lies beget fear,
Hatred,
suspicion. The choice is yours, for it all stops here.
In
the end, you either condemn yourself to hell or save yourself.
And
unless you heed what I say there will never be anything else.
This
is the only way to get rid of your curse, the only solution.
For I am the voice of conscience, the voice of mortal retribution!"
_______________
(lyrics)
It's right to take your lover
And hold him tight
It's
right to spend the evening
And want to stay the night
But,
baby, it's wrong to be lonely
It's
wrong to curse the sun
When gray clouds are above you
It's
wrong to be alone
When needed by the one who loves you
Yeah,
baby, it's wrong to be lonely
Sometimes
the loneliness of an endless night
Makes the stars seem to move out of view
When
what is really moving away
Is something deep inside of you
It's
right to want the future
That holds your dreams
And
it's right that some of those
Should come apart at the seams
But,
baby, it's wrong to be lonely
It's
wrong to make a prison
Of a room with an unlocked door
It's
wrong to stay adrift at sea
And never swim to shore
Yeah,
baby, it's wrong to be lonely
Sometimes
the loneliness of an endless night
Makes the stars seem to move out of view
When
what is really moving away
Is something deep inside of you
It's
right to need space
But wrong to be lonely
Wrong to be lonely
_______________
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